An Exploration of Marrying Young

In a recent article by David Lapp, he takes an interesting look at the issue of young marriages.

Mr. Lapp states that social scientists frequently note that "early marriage" is the No. 1 predictor of divorce. However, he cites that the median age at marriage today is 28 for men and 26 for women.

Mr. Lapp asks "so what's a young couple, in love and committed, to do? He wonders if his own decision to marry in his early 20s was shortsighted and irresponsible?

First, he takes a closer look at that term "early marriage." He says "while it's true that teenage marriages are a significant predictor of divorce, it turns out that marriages of people in their early to mid-20s are not nearly as much at risk."

According to a 2002 report from the Centers for Disease Control, Lapp says that 48% of people who enter marriage when under age 18, and 40% of 18- and 19-year-olds, will eventually divorce. But only 29% of those who get married at age 20 to 24 will eventually divorce—very similar to the 24% of the 25-and-older group.

Additionally, Lapp cites a recent study by the University of Texas finds that people who wed between the ages of 22 and 25, and remained married to those spouses, went on to experience the happiest marriages. While the authors caution against suggesting that 22 to 25 is the optimal marrying age for everyone, their finding does suggest that "little or nothing is likely to be gained by deliberately delaying marriage beyond the mid twenties."

Lapp explores: What about the money? He says that social scientists use the term "marriage premium" to describe how, over time, married couples save and build more wealth than otherwise-similar singles or cohabiting couples. According to Lapp "Part of the reason is simply that married couples have two incomes to pool and draw from. But as a group of leading family scholars notes in 'Why Marriage Matters,' a report published by the Institute for American Values, marriage itself appears to encourage thrifty behavior." I appears that married couples value the family members and want to protect the future of the family. Therefore, they tend to save more.

Of course, it's not just adults who are skeptical about early-to-mid-20s marriages. As psychologist Jeffrey Jensen Arnett notes in his influential book "Emerging Adulthood," many young people today delay marriage because they are afraid it will deny them the leisure of "identity exploration" and "self-focused development." I describe this more as "sewing the wild oats" in life before settling down.

A lot of young people sense entering into a marriage relationship closes the chapter in life on adventure and opens the chapter on routine and monotony.

Lapp asks, why does marriage earlier have to end the adventure in life. He asks "Instead of trekking to Africa or exploring Rome alone, why not marry the person of your dreams and take him or her along?"

He asks "What about discovering, as the characters Carl and Ellie in Disney Pixar's 'Up' do, the good of marital friendship? While they never fulfill their dream of traveling together to South America (their jug of nickels and dimes labeled 'Paradise Falls' is shattered with every flat tire and emergency-room visit), they do experience the joy of life together: renovating their home as newlyweds, picnicking and cloud-gazing on lazy summer afternoons, dancing in their candlelit living room after 50 years of marriage."

As much as young adults focus on self-exploration, what if the path to that exploration is actually learning to live with and love another person? What if we are startled to find that the greatest adventure lies not in knowing oneself as much as in knowing and committing to another person? What if we learned to put the needs of other in front of our own wants and desires? I suppose that would make us more Christlike in our approach to relationships.

Haiti Earthquake Impacting The Adoption Process

The recent tragic earthquake in Haiti is impacting the adoption process in that country. Margaret Ryznar recently wrote a short blog for the Family Law Professor Blog. Full post here.

There are numerous American waiting to adoption Haitian children that cannot proceed with the adoption because they cannot get get their adopted children out of the country.

Ms. Ryznar states "For example, this Wisconsin adoptive couple is waiting for a 16-year-old Haitian boy to get his passport to join them; in the meantime, he is sleeping in an orphanage’s courtyard as the orphanage is structurally unstable."

In another example Ryznar discusses, this mother from Skokie, Illinois is awaiting the opportunity to bring home her 4-year-old HIV positive adopted child from Haiti.

It will be interesting to see what the long term impact on Haitian adoptions will be. Hopefully, this situation will resolve itself quickly and closure will be had for these adoptions.

Class Action Suit Against Child Support Enforcement Unit

Brenda Craig, who writes for www.lawyersandsettlements.com, recently wrote an interesting article about a class action lawsuit against a West Virginia state child support enforcement agency. Full article here.

Here are some of her interesting comments:

"Deadbeat parents owe millions in support payments to children in West Virginia, and attorney Charles 'Rusty' Webb is doing his level best to make sure they pay up. He recently filed a legal malpractice class action lawsuit against the State Bureau of Child Support Enforcement, alleging that it is negligent in its duty to aggressively pursue parents who ignore court orders to make child support payments. 'I think we have class action here,' Webb said to a woman sitting in his office several months ago as she told him how the Child Advocacy Office handled her case. Her husband owed more than $16,000 in support payments, but the statute of limitations had kicked in and the order lapsed with no action from the office that is supposed to collect."

"Webb has been a family law lawyer for 23 and served two terms in the state legislature. He knew that his client, Kimberley Hoover, wasn’t the only mother in West Virginia with a child support problem. 'The Child Advocate Office has a duty to collect child support payments for children. It should have been on high alert not to allow statutes of limitations to run out on these judgments,' says Webb with a slightly perceptible growl. 'But they weren’t. No one seems to notice or care that children were losing thousands of dollars because of a failure to draft and implement a very simple writ of execution.'

"Webb has clearly struck a nerve. 'Not only have I heard from lots of people who qualify for the class, I have heard from lots of people with horror stories about their experiences with the office,' he says. 'Unfortunately, I have to tell them this lawsuit is limited to a particular circumstance.' Webb anticipates that the Child Advocacy Board will claim to be 'overworked and underpaid' and will say that 'the child support payments were uncollectable' in many cases. He doesn’t think that will pass as a defense. It is a particularly weak argument in the case of Kimberley Hoover. 'The parent who owed the money advised the court that he was receiving a lump sum payment for a disability claim,' says Webb. 'This was a collectable judgment.'"

"The suit claims the Child Advocacy Bureau is in breach of statutory duty, legal malpractice, professional negligence and more. It requests that the Bureau of Child Support Enforcement and Policy Studies Inc., a private company contracted to assist the Bureau, be required to pay all outstanding uncollected orders owed to children in West Virginia, plus interest and punitive damages. The Bureau has responded to the suit, says Webb. 'Their insurance company sent a two-paragraph letter saying the Bureau isn’t liable in this case.'”

"West Virginia has one of the highest child poverty rates in the US, and parents who fail to pay child support don’t help the situation. 'It could be in the millions of dollars,' says Webb. 'And, yes, I think it is tragic.'"

I don't know if suing a state agency is the answer, but it is an interesting angle for addressing the problem with a broken child support collection system. While I agree that no state has a fool proof system for collecting child support, I agree that there should be some accountability for clear legal blunders like missing a statue of limitations. A private attorney would not be shielded from liability for such a misstep, so why should a state agency be shielded? It will be interesting to see what happens to the West Virginia class action suit.